You’re Not Tired — You’re Trapped in a Beautiful Life You Didn’t Choose
And nobody taught you how to say no to it without disappearing.
You did what you were told — or at least, what was implied:
Learn how to market yourself.
Find your niche.
Stay informed.
Stay productive.
Therapy, gym, skincare, side hustle.
Say the right things, but never be too intense.
Be authentic — but still palatable.
Post often.
Rest strategically.
Smile, but not out of obligation — it should look natural.
The modern idea of success isn’t just about achievement anymore.
It’s a full-spectrum performance: emotional fluency, social capital, mental resilience, spiritual alignment — and enough money to not panic every time your rent’s due. But ideally, more than that, so you can help your mom, your friends, and maybe even have enough to comfortably have kids (or a dog).
You’re not chasing wealth.
You’re chasing stability, visibility, coherence, and belonging — all in one.
And if you’re tired… that makes sense.
If you feel like you’re doing everything right and still feel hollow, you’re not crazy.
You’ve just outgrown the metric system you were given.
You were taught:
That peace comes after the grind.
That meaning will click once your calendar is full.
That freedom is the reward for performance.
But you’ve seen people with money still feel lost.
You’ve seen people with reach still feel unseen.
You’ve tried the glow-up, the plan, the pivot, the rebrand — and still, something in you whispers: this isn’t it.
The problem isn’t you.
The problem is the map.
Not because it’s evil.
But because it was drawn by systems that don’t know your body. Your grief. Your rhythm.
This current idea of a “well-designed life” doesn’t leave room for:
Needing more time to do less.
Working jobs that aren’t your passion — and not apologizing for it.
Wanting intimacy without performance.
Choosing rest without a productivity payoff.
Being deeply alive without being legible.
And then there’s the tone:
Be appropriate.
Be concise.
Be enthusiastic — but not too much.
Be visible — but don’t make anyone uncomfortable.
You’re not asked to be whole.
You’re asked to be consistent.
And if you can’t keep that up, there’s words for it: imposter, sensitive, lost, immature, dramatic, ADHD, unprofessional.
But maybe your nervous system just can’t lie anymore.
Maybe your fatigue is honesty.
Maybe the shame isn’t yours — it’s residue from a script you never wrote.
You don’t have to disappear.
You don’t have to go off-grid.
But you can start telling the truth — even quietly, even just to yourself.
If your life doesn’t feel like yours, you’re not broken.
You’re just awake.
Askshame (n.)
The guilt that arises when you need support in a self-sufficient culture.
“Even asking for a ride gave me askshame. I Ubered instead.”
Performatude (n.)
The socially correct emotional tone required in polite or professional settings.
“I pasted on a performatude smile for the Zoom call.”
Restfailure (n.)
The shame that comes from resting without a clear payoff.
“I napped but didn’t earn it. Now I feel restfailure.”
If this hit home — write me. I’m listening.